Asm grey relay.

[Zolate]

I have a 2002 90 T350 turbo diesel lwb
High roof van which has done sixteen thousand kilometres since new.
The asm works fine when accelerating.
When backing off it starts to jerk or hunt. I can stop this by touching the brake pedal.
Occasionally it revs to around 4000rpm on its own.
Again touching the brake pedal stops this.
On cold mornings it does not want to drive until it warms up.
Warm/hot weather will drive immediately.
Very difficult to park in tight spaces as with short sharp touches on the accelerator to move a small amount there seems to initially be drive but then it seems to slip to neutral and revs increase.
If I bac off accelerator a, the revs drop back (not evenly or quickly) and when it gets to idle speed it will attempt to drive again when accelerating.
This seems to be worse when cold.
I recently took it to a transit mechanic who did not think the asm had the correct oil.
He drained , refilled and bled the system.
It seemed better for a while but this cold Melbourne morning was not good.
He also tried changing the accelerator pedal assy and the motor and auto control modules to no avail.
Reading the site today I thought I would try changing the troublesome grey relay under the overflow reservoir.
I orders a new relay from ford and was stunned to find my vehicle did not have one as shown on the photo in another post.
I do not know if it should have one or whether to try putting the relay in.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.