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Mk 8 hire van

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Mk 8 hire van

Postby gotgcoalman » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:25 pm

Due to my mk5 crapping it's diff out (only done 202000 miles)
I had to hire a flat back Mk8.
The verdict after 200 miles or so today.

On picking the 67 plate with less than 1100 miles on the clock up this morning.
The add blu door was flapping about like a fish out of water.

depress clutch before starting or some such nonsense popped up.
The clutch is very high (my knee gets wedged between the steering wheel and gear stick thing)
Steering wheel is made for "ladies hands"
Gear stick is designed for "limp wristed French people"
Seats are uncomfortable.

Driving position in general is not a good experience.(ankle/wrist/back ache set in quickly)
An arrow on the dash keeps telling me i'm going forward with a number next it.
I refuse to accept it wants to be in fifth @ 35mph.

6 gear WTF.

ok for dropping the revs while on a motorway but not for overtaking.
Press the GO pedal in this gear and wait,then wait a bit more,then realise it won't gather momentum and change down.
The "snail" seems to cut in about 1500 revs and loose steam about 2500 revs.(it has many revs past this that are wasted)
It's quiet in the cab,BUT I'm used to a nanna Di so a jet taking off seems quiet to me :shock:

Went to load up and reeled off the combination of products required for the first load.(going off what my mk 5 can carry legally)
AND was told which 18 bags do you want the most :lol:
Payload is 920kg I make it up to an even tonne :shock: (mk5 carries in excess of 1/2 tonne more legally)
is the van made from osmium ?

The body is made of some SUPER SLIPPERY substance more non stick than teflon.
load from the back and brake..........
everything comes forward up to the head board.
load from the front and due to acceleration/braking the load could be anywhere when you reach your destination.

I might "pop" the bonnet in the morning and bask in the glow of the resplendent power plant living under there (once I work out how to)
Is there a neon indicator to run you through the bonnet opening procedure?
On a plus it has a round mobile phone holder on the right hand side of the dash/glowing disco distraction.
There's more buttons on the stearing wheel than a "playstation controler" But I daren't press them incase one is LHM :roll:
and I noticed "overhead storage" (I need to investigate this tomorrow) Is it for smuggling stuff :?:

My un biased opinion of the van you lot love.
It's a bit sh*t isn't it.
ne m'écoute pas je suis plein de merde.
A house without a dog is like a forum without a BJT.
Too bloody quiet :shock:
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby bigjohnthomas » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:38 pm

:lol: :lol: a mk8 pig face then ?
You should get a spare mk5 stashed somewhere for what its going to cost you to hire that for a few days
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby bambi mk 1 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:40 pm

gotgcoalman wrote:Due to my mk5 crapping it's diff out (only done 202000 miles)
I had to hire a flat back Mk8.
The verdict after 200 miles or so today.

On picking the 67 plate with less than 1100 miles on the clock up this morning.
The add blu door was flapping about like a fish out of water.

depress clutch before starting or some such nonsense popped up.
The clutch is very high (my knee gets wedged between the steering wheel and gear stick thing)
Steering wheel is made for "ladies hands"
Gear stick is designed for "limp wristed French people"
Seats are uncomfortable.

Driving position in general is not a good experience.(ankle/wrist/back ache set in quickly)
An arrow on the dash keeps telling me i'm going forward with a number next it.
I refuse to accept it wants to be in fifth @ 35mph.

6 gear WTF.

ok for dropping the revs while on a motorway but not for overtaking.
Press the GO pedal in this gear and wait,then wait a bit more,then realise it won't gather momentum and change down.
The "snail" seems to cut in about 1500 revs and loose steam about 2500 revs.(it has many revs past this that are wasted)
It's quiet in the cab,BUT I'm used to a nanna Di so a jet taking off seems quiet to me :shock:

Went to load up and reeled off the combination of products required for the first load.(going off what my mk 5 can carry legally)
AND was told which 18 bags do you want the most :lol:
Payload is 920kg I make it up to an even tonne :shock: (mk5 carries in excess of 1/2 tonne more legally)
is the van made from osmium ?

The body is made of some SUPER SLIPPERY substance more non stick than teflon.
load from the back and brake..........
everything comes forward up to the head board.
load from the front and due to acceleration/braking the load could be anywhere when you reach your destination.

I might "pop" the bonnet in the morning and bask in the glow of the resplendent power plant living under there (once I work out how to)
Is there a neon indicator to run you through the bonnet opening procedure?
On a plus it has a round mobile phone holder on the right hand side of the dash/glowing disco distraction.
There's more buttons on the stearing wheel than a "playstation controler" But I daren't press them incase one is LHM :roll:
and I noticed "overhead storage" (I need to investigate this tomorrow) Is it for smuggling stuff :?:

My un biased opinion of the van you lot love.
It's a bit sh*t isn't it.

Does the diff go clonk clonk :?: :mrgreen:
On the sixth day God created a Sprinter on the seventh he gave it away and bought a TRANSIT
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby ned » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:48 pm

So when you buying one :lol: :lol: :lol: N
RUST IS LIGHTER THEN CARBON FIBRE

57 transit 85t260 2.2 swb, moondust silver.
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=209987

03 transit 125t280 2.0 tdci swb 229,000 miles.
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=168296
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby gotgcoalman » Fri Mar 16, 2018 12:29 am

ned wrote:So when you buying one :lol: :lol: :lol: N


Mk 12's will be out by then.
It's a big in stature (compared to the mk5)
has plenty of LOW end grunt :wink:
But runs out of legs further up the rev range
Carrying capacity is pitifull.
It's like filling a shopping basket when your'e used to using a trolley.
The back is like a skating rink (do I need to fill a risk assesment in before setting foot on it?)
It informs when.
Im moving down a street to the next customer without the seat belt on.
BING BING BING bloody BING.

Open the door with the engine on and it tells you "vehicle running" or some nonsense.
The key is not in my pocket so I assume it's in the ignition and the van is still going VROOM.
open the passanger side door and it informs you.
Passanger door is open.
Bugger me it is.

We'll see what other wonders it tells me tomorrow.
Damn forgot to mention
the temp thing said it was 3 degrees at 1 point and put an orange snowflake/slippery icon on the dash/disco/neon display.
I got scared and thought I'd broken/touched something.
So I floored it to clear the impending code.

Who need that IBS or FORESKIN to clear stuff.
Italian tune up worked for me.

can't work out how to gt the mpg thing up though.
It just says xxx miles to nedville (walk of shame)
Insert numbers insead of XXX (think it was 468 when I picked it up)
It's down to 200 and a bit now.

How big is the tank on these?
Am I going to sh*t my pants filling it back up before taking the awfull machine back tomorrow?
Will I have to gain entry via the roof in the morning?
Full on bjt style :?:

It's a hire van (bit like public transport)
will I need a full medical after handing it back?

I put a seat cover on the driver seat :D
not to protect the seat.
To prevent me getting pregnant.
Some scruffy mk6 owner might have sat there before me and participated in unspekable practices.
Bet there's a well used copy of "Razzle" in the over head thing :(

900kg FFS
ne m'écoute pas je suis plein de merde.
A house without a dog is like a forum without a BJT.
Too bloody quiet :shock:
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby ned » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:05 am

So you don't like it :? I know why your not a Gypsies :wink: :lol:

Why not plug the seatbelt in then sit on top of said seatbelt, no more bong bong bong bong

My theory is these modern vans are so packed with electowizardry they are loosing payload as they have to lug around a computer to turn the lights on, a computer to say bong bong no seat belt, a computer to tell the wipers to work ect they are becoming transportation for there own brains so to speak :lol: wait till you get your van back with keep fit windows and a didital clock, oh the simple life. N
RUST IS LIGHTER THEN CARBON FIBRE

57 transit 85t260 2.2 swb, moondust silver.
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=209987

03 transit 125t280 2.0 tdci swb 229,000 miles.
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=168296
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby bambi mk 1 » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:25 am

You better fill the adscrewyou tank as well ,you might get away with water :lol: It wasn't me and I wont do it again :idea:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRzGzRqNj58 :lol: :lol:
On the sixth day God created a Sprinter on the seventh he gave it away and bought a TRANSIT
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby man le-mans » Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:18 pm

The good thing is in these is you can start off at the traffic lights and turn a corner at the same time
MK8 L2H2 T350 TREND 68 plate silver 130bhp
Mk7 MWB M/R T350 TREND 2010 SILVER 115BHP
MK7 MWB M/R T350 2009 BLUE 115BHP (crap)
MK6 MWB M/R T280 full electric pack silver 2003 85BHP
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Re: Mk 8 hire van

Postby gotgcoalman » Mon Mar 19, 2018 9:57 pm

Took the awfull thing back.
Minor mods.
seat cover with seat belt run behind and pluged in to prevent BOING BOING BING BONG.
Addfuckyou door taped closed.(note to Ford supply a roll of gaffa tape or fix the sad arse catch)

Never looked under the bonet (couldn't work out how to open it)
play station controls on steering wheel revealed an ave mpg.
24.5 mpg :shock:
I was expecting at least 5o :(

Mk5 (once I get it sorted) was getting 29Mpg Ave.
With a 1/2 tonne extra payload.(still 3.5 GVW)

If I wanted to burn cars off at traffic lights it's ok.
for work/carrying a load it's ok.
for carrying what i'm used to it sucks due to reduced payload.

Once again the opinion of a mk5 owner.
ne m'écoute pas je suis plein de merde.
A house without a dog is like a forum without a BJT.
Too bloody quiet :shock:
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