the moral of the story is!!

[FredTransit]

Nope, never leave the keys in the van. I even lock it at the petrol station. I just don't understand why people do it. It's not rocket science. If it's not locked and the keys are in it, it's gonna get knicked.

[the gardener]

Sorry to rub it in but i have remote start alarm on mine and it came in handy over the winter when 2 little t##ts tried to jump in mine thinking it was open ( due to it running) and found the doors were locked with no keys in!! . There bemused shock give me time to sneak around the van and wrap a ally bat round the back of their legs to stop them running off while me missus phoned the police. Was told by the police that they were released without charge due to no crime actually taking place and that I was lucky they were'nt pressing charges for their sore legs!!!

best not telling police if you catch them just knock them out drive 40 miles and dump them in a dike not do it again

or knock 'em out take the bodies to a disused airfield, wrap in a blanket and douse with petrol and light. If left for 8 hrs will burn to nothing as the body fat acts like a candle and creates a high heat! So I've heard.....

[Paul 1]

"wrap in a blanket and douse with petrol and light. If left for 8 hrs will burn to nothing as the body fat acts like a candle and creates a high heat! So I've heard....."

Not soo!!!! ,

When i worked as a farm worker there was no value in beef so we were shooting bull calves and the hunt kennels collecting the carcases.

Foot and mouth put pay to this so I tried burning one, 20 litres of red dervsome old tires and a lot of plastic waste and the skeleton allbeit charred was still there the folowing morning! ..... buried them in the end untill the restrictions were lifted.

[the gardener]

"wrap in a blanket and douse with petrol and light. If left for 8 hrs will burn to nothing as the body fat acts like a candle and creates a high heat! So I've heard....."

Not soo!!!! ,

When i worked as a farm worker there was no value in beef so we were shooting bull calves and the hunt kennels collecting the carcases.

Foot and mouth put pay to this so I tried burning one, 20 litres of red dervsome old tires and a lot of plastic waste and the skeleton allbeit charred was still there the folowing morning! ..... buried them in the end untill the restrictions were lifted.

just popping out to finish something.....