Allcocks Arsewash 3000

[bigjohnthomas]

I forgot you was still in the cellar bri
Dbvm and rhubarb there too ?
Don't worry I will send mike down with a ham sandwich and a glass of pop
Crusts cut off and in triangles just how you like them

[Altransit]

How come you need all this fancy gear just to wash a few backsides, surely a hosepipe and a car wash brush would do the job just as well, and so much cheaper

I reckon that you must be charging too much with all the money you're splashing around

[madbri]

I forgot you was still in the cellar bri
Dbvm and rhubarb there too ?
Don't worry I will send mike down with a ham sandwich and a glass of pop
Crusts cut off and in triangles just how you like them

no i escaped on a very fast trike

[BigMonty]

How come you need all this fancy gear just to wash a few backsides, surely a hosepipe and a car wash brush would do the job just as well, and so much cheaper

I reckon that you must be charging too much with all the money you're splashing around

I think you are onto something there Al, it looks like he is drinking Stella now, bit bloody extravagant I think.

[bigjohnthomas]

yes Stella at the mo,not allowed spesh anymore after the naked tricycling incident

Its not as simple as scraping sh*t of a few a***holes
As a highly skilled arseole engineer I need a fully equipped mobile styling salon
Anyway it was doing my back in lifting big hairy furkers in and out of a stupid rwd van then lifting them in the bath then lifting them out of the bath and on to the table then off the table and out of the van again all for five quid
But that's in the past (nearly)
This is the future
This is the age of the machine
The fantastic allcock 3000 automated digital arse wash
Not long off now .....

Still got to put some filler and paint that roof yet though

[bigjohnthomas]

the allcock twin turbo pump a tron 3000
"it will tear your arse apart"

They look heavy duty pumps

Planning on fitting filters to stop hair etc from clogging then up ?

behold the filteratroninc 1000 glx and filteromatic 2000 xl turd catcher
1000 model is fitted in the sump


and the 2000 filteromatic xl super turd catcher version lives in the bottom of the bath

[bigjohnthomas]

could do with a floater catcher too really

[Altransit]

could do with a floater catcher too really

I have a fishing net in the garage, shall I send it up to you

[bigjohnthomas]

its ok thanks i will just use my fingers as normal

sump in its final resting place nearly plumbed in
just need to make a hole in the floor for the drain
looks like it may go into the fuel tank there too
better drill an exploratory hole first

an in,an out and an in and an out and a heater and a float switch
6 bloody holes in that sump fiberglassing of the eyeballs too
had to make another hole in the water tank too as the table squashed the pipe from first one when it went down
almost ready to wash the pug as a test

[limitedblack]

They will have my brain fixed before that van's finished. Less haste, more speed, or in your case less beer, more speed.

[bigjohnthomas]

Well limbak my dear fellow
Its not that far off really could of done with you to do the plumbing couple of leaks to fix
Busy looking for eggs at castle gayskull today you have hidden them well
The insurance runs out on the 2000 model end of the month so that will prob be launch date
Depends on the spesh really

[bigjohnthomas]

Bath now undergoing sea triles
Up to temp and holding it well. a leak on the pressure side of the pump union though
Bit of a party going on in it actually

Room for a little un

[bigjohnthomas]

Waste tank ...
Not going to be nice looking but the great spirit told me that a stainless tank would be too expensive and a plastic tank wouldnt take a knock. so he speak ..allcock makeuth thou from ply and resin ya b*stard
So ...
Some half inch ply and some sticks ...




Some little pipes in the way Must be from when it was a bog wash van I will just cut those off

[bigjohnthomas]

[Altransit]

Have you considered a recycling tank for the fecal matter, to turn it into biofuel for the arsewash 3k


But then again, I may patent the idea and you'll have to buy it off me