Diary of an Ordinary Van

[Vee4]

The First Cut Is The Deepest ... *

I knew I would have to make this entry sooner or later - it could have been after one week, or one year, or ten years, although the latter seemed unlikely.

The first dent in the Ordinary Van: there is a small vertical dent in the centre of the panel behind the driver's door, where the panel bulges out. I don't think I'll be able to post a picture, as you need to catch the light on the side of the van in a certain way to see the distortion and the camera probably won't pick it up. At least the paint is not broken so there will be no rust.

It looks as if someone opened their car door onto the side of the van. Possibly this was on Sunday night when there was a car parked alongside which had gone when I came back to the van. I always look round the van when I come back to it because of previous experience (see below), but it was dark and raining so I wouldn't have noticed minor damage. I try to park 'defensively' and I had deliberately left plenty of space for the car door to be opened, setting the van at the opposite extreme of my marked space.

In 12 years with the Mk5, I managed to avoid driving into any other vehicle, either forward or reverse, but the van was constantly being damaged by persons unknown colliding with it while it was parked. The damage included bent and displaced bumpers, as well as wing mirror scuffs down the side. Most would come off with T-Cut but there was one crease just behind the right front indicator lens which occurred in a wide, relatively car-free, residential street in a posh area of London. From the paint residue and other marks (I had to T-Cut black paint or plastic off the side of the van and bumper), it looked as if it had been caused by a 'Chelsea Tractor'.

People seem to be very precious about their cars, but they think nobody cares about vans, so they can be as careless as they like around them. I recall one incident with the Mk2 when I was attending a training course in Hatfield and a guy in a salesman-type car opened his car door and whacked it into the side of the van causing a 6-inch black mark. Although I was standing watching, he didn't apologise.

I think the sides of the Mk7 are vulnerable to this kind of damage. The 'bodyside mouldings' are too low down and too narrow to provide any protection. In fact, they are listed in the 'Exterior appearance and styling' section of the brochure, not the 'Exterior functional' section. Also, the skin is so thin, you could push it in with your thumb.

With all that said, the Ordinary Van is a Working Van too. It will find its way into cramped industrial premises and have heavy equipment loaded and unloaded. I can't be sure that I won't ever catch the wing mirror on a wall, or chip the paint on the side loading door with my tool box. I just don't want it ever to look as if nobody cares for it, if only because when people get that impression, they are even less likely to be careful themselves.


* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_ ... he_Deepest

[rcgods]

I know exactly how you feel:-

All at one work place, 2 damaged drivers doors, smashed wing mirror, scraped bumpers. I hate my co-workers.

Also my brand new van was hit on my drive at home by the old mans car door... I was livid as I had picked it up 2 days earlier.

[trigger]

I know exactly how you feel:-

All at one work place, 2 damaged drivers doors, smashed wing mirror, scraped bumpers. I hate my co-workers.

Also my brand new van was hit on my drive at home by the old mans car door... I was livid as I had picked it up 2 days earlier.

Bet you really swore at your old man

[Vee4]

Also my brand new van was hit on my drive at home by the old mans car door... I was livid as I had picked it up 2 days earlier.

Bet you really swore at your old man

At least rcgods had someone to swear at! It's annoying because this stuff happens and you never find out who did it.

[rcgods]

Bet you really swore at your old man

Words were exchanged yes

[rcgods]

At least rcgods had someone to swear at! It's annoying because this stuff happens and you never find out who did it.

I knew who hit my car door at work and he got his a few months later.

[Vee4]

That's very nearly an armful!

The Ordinary Van has had chance to stretch its legs (trip computer up to 39.7mpg) and put its feet up and other anthropomorphic metaphors. This was while I was wrestling with the implications of the changes to VAT rules relating to cross-border trade and thus my EC Sales List:

http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/vat/cross-border ... s-2010.htm

At the same time, the blood donation service was in town (you do donate, don't you? http://www.blood.co.uk/ ). I've never been known to turn down the offer of free tea and biscuits ... The tea isn't what it used to be, because they now use the disposable cups with the built-in tea bags, but the turn round time is very fast with some new efficiency measure introduced every time I go. No visit would be complete without recalling the classic Tony Hancock sketch, The Blood Donor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLO9PXZc ... re=related

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blood_Donor

[ake]

I pass out giving a blood sample, there's no way I could donate a pint, I'd end up in a coma

[Vee4]

there's no way I could donate a pint, I'd end up in a coma

It's the 'VAT rules relating to cross-border trade' that puts me in a coma!

[ake]

there's no way I could donate a pint, I'd end up in a coma

It's the 'VAT rules relating to cross-border trade' that puts me in a coma!

[madmark_50484]

Vee4 is the ordinary ready for a promotion from yet

[Vee4]

Those S******rs ganging up on me!

Phew! I've been too busy to write up the Diary. The 'drafts' are stacking up.

Heading down the M1 in the early hours, I was overtaken by two of the above-mentioned vehicles, one in the middle and one in the outside lane. There was a loud 'thwack' on the windscreen and I was sure I would find a chip or crack when daylight came. So far, it looks as if the screen is undamaged.

I'm paranoid about screen damage, since the Quickclear on the Mk5 was cracked and replaced within a month of my taking delivery, and it was on its third when I handed it in. It always seemed to attract stone chips and small cracks, some of which I had repaired by Autoglass with varying degrees of success. Inevitably, the paint was damaged by the replacement process, providing another place for rust to start.

[Vee4]

Vee4 is the Ordinary ready for a promotion from yet?

Watch this space! The review is in the stack. It was going to be a 'first three months' review, but it looks as if it will be 'first six months' now!

[Vee4]

Oh, how we laughed ...

On my venturing into the dealer's showroom to look at a new Mk7, which would have been in early 2008, the sales staff were keen to show me how the 'glove compartment' could be used as an A4 filing cabinet, as well as the quantity and sizes of the many cup and bottle holders. Important questions about fuel consumption, gearbox ratios, and reliability of the electronic systems (from a sceptical Mk5 owner) were not so easily answered.

Despite being mildly amused by the above, I decided that a suspension file would be handy to keep my van-related paperwork from being crumpled by the usual glove compartment debris: spare lamps, torches, tyre pressure gauge, etc. The paperwork includes a 'VOSA crib sheet' with weights, dimensions, tyre pressures, oil and water capacities, etc.

The suspension file required is A4 size with 13" mounting centres. I chose the Cathedral Products A4 suspension file (http://www.cathedralproducts.com/products.asp?id=1) as it is all plastic - the traditional cardboard version with the steel rail might go soggy and rusty in the long term.

Also, the packaging included a thick cardboard sheet which I have used to make sure the files stay flat. The glove compartment lock mechanism means that there is not a flat surface for the files to rest against:

[ake]

My glovebox went thru a spell of opening it self for a while, however a bend of the metal striker bar fixed that