Diary of an Ordinary Van

[trigger]

My glovebox went thru a spell of opening it self for a while, however a bend of the metal striker bar fixed that

Or you could just try adjusting the keep

[Vee4]

Don't be fobbed off!



A topic frequently aired on this Forum! Usually it is because of failure of some kind: failure to operate, failure to program, failure to charge, charging too much (in GBP), etc. Does anyone have a good word to say? It makes me nostalgic for the simple PATS key and mechanical slam locks on my old Mk5. See for example:

search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&keywords=fob+keyfob&fid%5B%5D=5
search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&keywords=fob+keyfob&fid%5B%5D=2

or this recent exchange:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=61466&start=0

With items like this, which are unique in some way and difficult to obtain 'aftermarket', my policy is to assess the number needed during the anticipated life of the product and buy them at the outset. When ordering the Ordinary Van, I discovered that the option for 'Second remote control key fob' meant literally that and I could only add one extra to the factory order. The non-ordinary vans (Trend, Ltd, etc.) include a second fob in the package - presumably that means that you can't add more to the order. Additional fobs can, of course, be ordered as spare parts to be programmed and delivered at the same time as your new van.

I have been using my fobs on a 2-month rotation to keep them charged up and so far so good. An offline charger has been discussed:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=49329&start=0

I have been gathering info and hardware to do this, but I haven't had free time or pressing need ...

Finally, why do we use this phrase? For once, Wikipedia let me down (in its defence, it's an encyclopaedia and not a dictionary) so OED to the rescue:

http://www.askoxford.com/results/?view= ... type=exact

Very revealing!

[winterheating]

you would of thought the batteries they use would be a type that hold the charge for long periods, a bit like them batteries you can by for cameras that last about a year without charging.

[Vee4]

you would have thought the batteries they use would be a type that hold the charge for long periods

Indeed, but I will say that:

a) in my experience, rechargeable (secondary) cells have a lower capacity and charge retention than the equivalent primary cells - although that may depend on application and type (but here referring to 'coin' cells), discharge rates, circuit design, etc.
b) rechargeable cells have a limited number of charge/discharge cycles before the capacity is reduced enough to make them useless
c) some camper owners may not use their vehicles for long periods, as in this case: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=49329&start=0

[CrazyChris]

Don't be fobbed off!



A topic frequently aired on this Forum! Usually it is because of failure of some kind: failure to operate, failure to program, failure to charge, charging too much (in GBP), etc. Does anyone have a good word to say? It makes me nostalgic for the simple PATS key and mechanical slam locks on my old Mk5. See for example:

search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&keywords=fob+keyfob&fid%5B%5D=5
search.php?st=0&sk=t&sd=d&keywords=fob+keyfob&fid%5B%5D=2

or this recent exchange:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=61466&start=0

With items like this, which are unique in some way and difficult to obtain 'aftermarket', my policy is to assess the number needed during the anticipated life of the product and buy them at the outset. When ordering the Ordinary Van, I discovered that the option for 'Second remote control key fob' meant literally that and I could only add one extra to the factory order. The non-ordinary vans (Trend, Ltd, etc.) include a second fob in the package - presumably that means that you can't add more to the order. Additional fobs can, of course, be ordered as spare parts to be programmed and delivered at the same time as your new van.

I have been using my fobs on a 2-month rotation to keep them charged up and so far so good. An offline charger has been discussed:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=49329&start=0

I have been gathering info and hardware to do this, but I haven't had free time or pressing need ...

Finally, why do we use this phrase? For once, Wikipedia let me down (in its defence, it's an encyclopaedia and not a dictionary) so OED to the rescue:

http://www.askoxford.com/results/?view= ... type=exact

Very revealing!

I have a story about my key fob and how I've always hated the things. I bought a brand new Ford Transit Limited, it had 2 keyfobs and I live in a house with two children so the first key got, erm, LOST. I still had the other one and I had problems getting it to work and was annoying me but could never work out how to fix it and just resigned myself to be angry with it. I was doing a favour for a friend and left the back doors open but left the key in the ignition. I closed the front doors but left the rear doors open.

As you have now guessed I locked the key in the ignition and set about panicking. I wasnt going to leave my van in that area of the town, that was for sure. I would have pushed it home if I could. Then the other idiot (me being the first) closed the rear doors so I was now properly shut out. This meant a call to a very helpful RAC, actually the guy who was on call also driving a Transit was great and understood my issue. He got out his inflatable things, a wrench and I watched as the door buckled but never actually broke and no lasting damage was caused. He did say that the lastest MK7 Transit stood up to being broken into very well. I must agree but after around 1/2 of nail bitting the door was open large enough for the hook to go in and take the key out the ignition.

Now, you might reckon I would be wise not to leave the key in the cab but oh no. This happened, a month later when I was parked on a layby fixing a HGV, not the most helpful of all places, so the repairer was now being repaired. Not great. Again, RAC were great and suprising quick The next time it happened was in my driveway but by this point I was pretty frustrated. Happily, however, the house is made of bricks (SUPRISE) and being relatively new built still had left over bricks...you can see where this is going. SORTED ... but rather expensive method.

[Vee4]

I have a story about my key fob and how I've always hated the things.

Thanks for sharing that with the group, Chris ...

Although it hasn't yet arisen, I anticipate that such incidents as you recount are possible with the Ordinary Van, given a certain combination of 'new technology' and human nature. A read through some of my earlier contributions to the Forum will reveal my Luddite* tendencies, e.g. viewtopic.php?p=385430#p385430

My countermeasure was to order an additional regular key. Since this is smaller in size and has no 'moving parts', I can carry it about my person at all times. Whilst the fob is used day to day, the regular key should enable me to gain access and start the van if the fob fails or is accidentally locked inside the van.

In the case of the Mk1 shown as my avatar, anything vaguely key-shaped would open the driver's door and turn the ignition switch. There was no steering lock.

*Luddite: http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/luddite?view=uk

[Vee4]

It just doesn't get more Ordinary!

I found a new use for the rear step bumper:



Finding time to write up the Diary has been more difficult. I had to take some time out to complete the VAT Return, but I should be doing more important work such as writing the 'First Six Month's Review' of the Ordinary Van. Have to earn a crust too ...

[ME]

Ther Key Thingy.

I have 2 vans we both have keys to each others Its not that often they are used i would say every 4 mnths after sitting in the glove box and they still work

[Vee4]

It's not that often they are used I would say every 4 months after sitting in the glove box and they still work

That's good to know. Rechargeable batteries do lose capacity over time, however (viewtopic.php?p=531595#p531595). My 2-month rotation is intended to take account of that. I suppose I could conduct an experiment by leaving one of the keys unused and trying it periodically to see if it opens the doors. With a new key that has been in use (and hence charged), I would expect it to be good for 12 months or so. I assume that the fob has a standby circuit (i.e. it is constantly waiting for a button to be pressed) so there is a small current drain when not in use.

[ake]

At the opposite end of the key use spectrum, At least once or twice a week I lock and unlock my van using the key in the keyhole in the drivers door, just to keep the lock free and working, I'd hate to need it one morning and it not work

[Vee4]

At least once or twice a week I lock and unlock my van using the key in the keyhole in the drivers door, just to keep the lock free and working

A good point! Another item for the Ordinary Van's 'pre-flight checks' list.

[Vee4]

The earth has many keys ... *

Here are two of them:



Practise your key skills

Prompted by ake's suggestion, I decided to revisit the key-in-lock procedures. The instructions in the Handbook seemed unclear so here's my version, as it applies to the Ordinary Van:

(1) Van is locked: to unlock, turn key clockwise against mechanical resistance, unlocks cab (lights flash once); turn clockwise again from central position against switch resistance, unlocks load compartment (lights flash once).

(2) Van is unlocked: to lock, turn key counter-clockwise against mechanical resistance.

(3) Van is unlocked: to double lock, first turn key clockwise against switch resistance then counter-clockwise against mechanical resistance (lights flash twice to confirm).

If you stir around at random, it's possible to provoke a beep of the horn, as if trying to lock with a door open. I'm not sure exactly why but presumably you've forced a disallowed condition.


* The first line of a poem by Emily Dickinson, the enigmatic, 19th century American poet. I don't believe she drove a Transit - she was too busy writing and besides she didn't get out much. To see the full text, on this page go to number 1775 (the Johnson Edition reference):

http://www.csustan.edu/english/reuben/p ... inson.html

Wikipedia does not disappoint on the subject of Emily Dickinson: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Dickinson

There is also a newly published biography by Lyndall Gordon: Lives Like Loaded Guns (Virago Press). I'll leave the review of that to the experts:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-enter ... 03804.html

[Vee4]

Who is the Master now?

A couple of weeks ago, I used the red Renault Master to move some large items. I used to think it was quite luxurious when I drove it after my Mk5 but now it seems rough compared with the Ordinary Van.



Anyway, the job was cost sensitive so I was keeping an eye on the Master's fuel consumption on the trip computer. It was showing MPG in miles and tenths and it incremented by tenths in a satisfying way according to my driving - I managed to get up to 37.8 on the dual carriageway which is the highest I've seen in that van.

Now that set me thinking [groans from the readership]. A puzzling and annoying feature of the Mk7 trip computer was the jumping of the MPG reading in large steps, usually 0.5 or 0.6 for each step. The readings I see on a long term average are 39.2 and 39.7 depending on the ratio of city to highway driving. The reason for this had to be that it was calculating in metric units (litres per 100km) and then converting to MPG.

At my high school we were always known to the staff by our surnames - I guess I would be referred to as 'Four', 'Vee' to my friends. So "... for your detention today, Four, calculate the conversion factor between MPG and litres per hundred kilometres, and show your workings!"

Conversion factors:

1 mile = 1.6093 km; 1 gallon (imperial) = 4.546 litres

In easy stages:

Let miles per gallon figure = MPG

Fuel consumption= (MPG x 1.6093) 'km/gallon' = (MPG x 1.6093)/100 '100km/gallon' = (MPG x 1.6093)/(100 x 4.546) '100km/litre'

Solving, fuel consumption = MPG x 0.003540 '100km/litre' (four significant figures)

Take the reciprocal to convert to litres/100km, fuel consumption = 1/(MPG x 0.003540) litres/100km

Some examples:

39.2 MPG = 7.2 litres/100km (one decimal place)
39.7 MPG = 7.1 litres/100km
40.2 MPG = 7.0 litres/100km

If you leave the trip computer set to 'metric' mode for a while, you will see it change in 0.1 litres/100km steps but as you can see, those steps are approximately 0.5 MPG. I prefer the Renault method, where (I assume) they do a separate calculation directly from the ECU data for fuel used and distance covered, giving a higher resolution.

Of course, there are some 'online' calculators, such as: http://www.markporthouse.net/rangie/fue ... rsion.htm# - nice one, Mark!

QED. Detention over - class dismissed.

Edits: added extra step to calculation for clarity, comment on Renault method.

[Altransit]

I guess I would be referred to as 'Four', 'Vee' to my friends.

Love it!

[Vee4]

I guess I would be referred to as 'Four', 'Vee' to my friends.

Love it!

Cheers, Mr Transit. Or can I call you 'Al'?
Cue song ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Can_Call_Me_Al