Diary of an Ordinary Van

[Vee4]

Perhaps it depends where it was built, mine is Turkish

The Ordinary Van is Turkish too: viewtopic.php?p=457713#p457713

[Vee4]

Third Cut Is Not So Deep - but somehow, more annoying ...

The First: viewtopic.php?p=520545#p520545
The Second: viewtopic.php?p=575462#p575462

Another dent in the side from careless drivers smashing their car doors into it:



You can't see the actual dent in the picture. The white paint mark is about 5/8" long - I will have to T-Cut it because it draws the eye to the dent which is on the right side just in front of the First Cut.

I'm trying to think of ways to stop people doing this:

(1) Erect an electric fence (as used to restrict grazing farm animals) around the parked van. About 20kV should do the trick.

(2) Drape a string of foam or sisal pads along the side, as you would along the side of a boat.

(3) Surround the van with plastic barriers as used at road works.

(4) Attach a magnetic sign board with an arrow pointing to the damage and a message such as: "If you do this to the side of my van, would you mind if I do the same to the side of your car?"

(5) Install a webcam to record the culprit's registration number and then send a bill for repainting.

(6) Install a contact mic in the side of the van to trigger a loud klaxon in the event of a direct blow.

[madmark_50484]

you forgot option 7 all of the above

[Mike]

Perhaps it depends where it was built, mine is Turkish

Mine's English.

[Vee4]

Season of Mists ...*

is upon us. Perhaps you would need to be jumping into your Transit at 0415 this morning to see the mist, as I did. First time this Autumn for the orange low temperature warning (viewtopic.php?f=5&t=62300&start=0) and first need for the heated wing mirrors.

* How could we not think of John Keats at this time of year? He is well known for his ode To Autumn: 'Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness ...' and for his classics such as La Belle Dame Sans Merci and On First Looking into Chapman's Homer.



Keats died young, as befits a Romantic Poet, and wrote the inscription for his own headstone: 'Here Lies One Whose Name Was Writ in Water' although his wishes were not honoured after his death.

Let's hope I don't change my mind about any of this, since the 'edit' facility has been withdrawn: viewtopic.php?f=29&t=71839&start=0

[Vee4]

Resonant "buzz" inside dash revisited:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=66448&start=0&hilit=rattle+windscreen

I have experienced this on the Ordinary Van in the last couple of weeks, depending on road speed and wind speed and direction. Recalling that this had been discussed before and examining the plastic 'scuttle', I decided it could be the cause as the noise was reminiscent of a vibrating taut sail. The rubber strip had come away from the edge, presumably reducing the damping from pressure of the closed bonnet and allowing air flow across the edge of the scuttle causing a vibrating reed effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_reed_aerophone

[Vee4]

How does the badger decide?

Not this little fellow.*



I refer to the person who sticks the TDCi or other engine-type badges on the Transit's radiator grille as the vehicle rolls along the production line. On a run out to Ipswich and down to London in the Ordinary Van, conditions were ideal for some Transit spotting: clear, bright and dry. Without an observer on board, it's difficult to spot them all and if you spend too much time staring at the grille of a Transit approaching with a relative velocity of 100 to 120 mph, you're likely to end up wearing it. Also, it was annoying to find that having clocked the badge, some central barriers obscure the registration plate so the date can not be checked.

Overall, the results are as noted before:

(1) Up to '09' plate, most have badges and I assume those that don't have them lost or stolen.
(2) It is rare to see a badge on a '59' or '10'. I think I saw one of each in 5 hours on the road.

There doesn't seem to be any connection between presence of a badge and the finish of the grille, i.e. bare plastic or body match. Neither did there seem to be a connection with body type.

I think I must don a grubby anorak and station myself on a footbridge at a busy road junction, armed with binoculars and a copy of the Observer's Book of British Transits, in order to conduct a proper survey.




* Thanks to Steve Jackons's Badger Pages for the picture of the Eurasian Badger (Meles meles).

[trigger]

Transitspotting, i've heard it all now

[Vee4]

Transitspotting, I've heard it all now

Transitspotting? Wasn't that a film by Danny Boyle, starring Ewan McGregor?

[Vee4]

Just when you thought it was safe - it's party time again!

To celebrate the Ordinary Van's first birthday, I'm having a virtual party themed on 'The Prisoner' TV series. The virtual Tourneo courtesy bus has already set off to collect the guest of honour, Patrick McGoohan, the creator and the main character, 'Number Six', in the cult series. We're hoping that Leo McKern can make it along too, to reprise his role as 'Number Two' in the penultimate episode 'Once Upon a Time', along with Angelo Muscat, who will be sharing out the cake. If we ask him, Leo may give us his Rumpole, a role for which he is justifiably famed.



Transit Towers has been transformed into a replica of Portmeirion, which provided the backdrop to the series as 'The Village'.



Party games will consist of repeated attempts to escape from The Village whilst dragging a weather balloon attached to your ankle with fishing line and shouting, "I am not a number ..." Fancy dress is optional, but the suggested outfit includes a black blazer with white edging. Virtual helicopter rides will be available, but only as a round trips. Same for the boat trips ...

Ron Grainer and Delia Derbyshire will be on the DJ stand, or 'Radiophonic Workbench' as they prefer to call it. Just so long as they don't keep playing the 'Dr Who' theme ...

If you can't find The Village (it's not on TomTom and its real location is never made clear) in your Transit, come on a pennyfarthing:



The virtual tea urn is already at a rolling boil, and the virtual parking lot is larger than ever, so there's no danger of having your Transit dented by someone opening their car door in an ajacent space. Bring some biscuits of your choice - the Garibaldi was a big hit last time.

So now it's time to sing "Happy birthday ..." The Health and Safety Officer will allow us to light the candle as long as there is a fire extinguisher to hand:



That's a cherry bakewell - bring tweezers and a magnifying glass to pick up your share.

[Vee4]

A week (or a year) of complete Ordinaryness

No time to recover from the party! Straight in to a non-stop week of work.

Of course, the Ordinary Van's first anniversary also brings the first anniversary of the Diary. It's been a struggle to find time to write as much as I would like - ake said, "It's terrible when life gets in the way of the Forum." Many items that could or should have been written have not been done. Although some items are saved for future use, some are only relevant at a certain time and may never be revisited.

We've covered some items of major importance (rusting, etc.), some trivia (when was the TDCi badge dropped, etc.) and held an election. Life is never dull with a Transit.

I'm still conducting my badger survey, by the way.



Is it true to say that the badger only badges TDCi vans?

[Vee4]

Resonant "buzz" inside dash revisited again:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=66448&start=0
viewtopic.php?p=613130#p613130

I heard a hint of this again today, so I took a look for likely sources while 'under the hood' checking the fluid levels. The outer part of the plastic surround for the bonnet hinge is free to vibrate:





I gave it a flick with my finger and it made a sound exactly like that heard when travelling along. Some tape or superglue should fix it.

[Vee4]

Remember the Mobil Economy Run?

You're giving your age away! I'll allow a few minutes for revision:



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobil_Economy_Run

That reminds me, I must buy a set of new silvery-plated Champion spark plugs for my TDCi. They will look nice in a display stand on the dashboard and a small Tesla coil hidden in the glove box will provide some impressive sparks.

The Ordinary Van will be staging its own Economy Run this week, with a round trip of some 1200 miles. Let's see if it can beat the Econetic. The OV should do this trip easily on less than two tanks of fuel. More details to follow ...

[Altransit]

No cheating by pumping up the tyres now ............

[Vee4]

No cheating by pumping up the tyres now ............

I'm guessing that you didn't need to do the revision!