Diary of an Ordinary Van

[big mike]

I've just read all 31 pages of this diary, it's been very helpfull.
thanks for taking the time to write it
mike

[Vee4]

Time for that celebration!

As promised, but it took a while to organise. Someone came up with a delivery for Sunday (02 Jan 2011), so I find myself in the workshop doing the prep work. However, the great thing about a virtual party is that you can see in the New Year wherever you are and whatever you are doing. In particular then, this is for everyone on duty tonight, standing by in their Transit and waiting for that call, or simply on routine service: the unsung heroes.

Tonight's star turn is:

Bill Hicks



"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Hope you're doing well tonight. I'm glad to be here. I been on the road doing comedy now for ten years, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow* through this s##t one more time. Teasing. It's magic every show."

Bill is bound to debunk a few myths and upset a few delicate souls (caution - contains strong language from the start), and he is keen to promote his new DVD:



For the youngsters and those of a more sensitive disposition:

Charles Dickens



will be reading selections from his perennial Christmas favourite:



Mr Dickens was highly amused when shown Blackadder's version, as recently broadcast on the BBC:



Musical interludes will be provided by:

The Applejacks**



They will entertain us with their (three) greatest hits. Tell them when!

Happy New Year to all! Review of 2010 and Resolutions for 2011 to follow ...

* It's OK - he is American.
** There is a tenuous link between The Applejacks and Transits but you will have to wait for the full story in the official biography, working title: Biography of an Ordinary Van.

[Vee4]

I've just read all 31 pages of this diary, it's been very helpful.

Thanks, Mike. I'll have to read them myself for the Review of 2010!

[Altransit]

I thought it was only me who remembered the Applejacks

[transitandy]

did'nt dolly parton once sing a song called applejack thats the only one i know

[Vee4]

I thought it was only me who remembered the Applejacks

Their heyday was probably 1964 ...

Didn't Dolly Parton once sing a song called Applejack?

Indeed she did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPPUJFR620Y. The Applejacks were a band from Solihull - see above. The name has been used for many things, even a breakfast cereal: http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&expIds=1 ... 20e81e9757

[Altransit]

Their heyday was probably 1964

Oh yes ......... I remember it well
It was also the centenery year for the Express Dairy

[Vee4]

Oh yes ......... I remember it well

Hopefully, better than Maurice Chevalier's character in Gigi:

I REMEMBER IT WELL
From "Gigi" (1958)
(Lyrics : Alan Jay Lerner / Frederick Loewe)

Honore (Maurice Chevalier) & Mamita (Hermione Gingold)

H: We met at nine
M: We met at eight
H: I was on time
M: No, you were late
H: Ah yes, I remember it well

Etc ...

[ake]

Always a pleasure to read this thread, Long may it continue

[Altransit]

Always a pleasure to read this thread, Long may it continue

Amen

[Vee4]

Always a pleasure to read this thread, Long may it continue

Amen

Amen Corner perhaps? Also from the Swinging Sixties ... well known for their hits Bend Me, Shape Me and If Paradise Is Half As Nice. They probably went to gigs in a Transit.

But seriously ... thanks, guys, for your support in 2010. I'm still working on the Review - it's been a busy start to the year and it's not over yet. I'm experimenting with the BBCode 'List=' formatting so I hope it doesn't go horribly wrong, especially now there is no editing facility.

[Altransit]

especially now there is no editing facility.

We're always here for you and besides, the preview button will always show whats happening first

[Vee4]

Highlights from 2010

I used the BBCode List command as an experiment, and as it turns out, it's very good at generating lists, so that's how it ended up - a list of personal favourites from the Diary:

• Review of 2009
  I'll start as I mean to look back.
• The 2010 New Year Resolution
  How well did we do?
• Rust Never Sleeps
  If you own a Transit ...
  
• Deep, Deeper, Deepest
  The cuts, the cuts!
• Emily Dickinson in a key role?
  
• Who is the Master now?
  Secrets of the MPG computer.
  
• Check your oil
  
• Paul Simon visits the home of the Transit
  On a tour of one-night stands ...
• Hobnobbing with the stars
  Bring your own biscuits.
  
• How do I love thee?
  The verdict is in.
  
• Oil leak
  Testing the warranty repair procedure.
  
• The Ordinary Van bids for more power
  
• Are we tyred yet?
  There's something in the air.
• First service
  Will it pass the 'mother-in-law' test?
  
• Yes! We have no bananas
  
• It was one of Whistler's
  I could have done that myself in ten minutes!
• A treble clef on the Forum - whatever next?
  
• Autumn already?
  If only we knew what was to come!
  
• Sett theory
  The badger behaves erratically ...
  
• Who is Number One?
  The Ordinary Van is one year old.
• Top Ten
  That's right, pop pickers!
  
• Manny's Schlepper Shirt
  The Ordinary Van has been there, got the T-shirt.
  
• The Old '69
  A VAN and a CAR and so much more.
  
• The Economy Run
  This story has legs.
  
• The first set of wheels
  Nostalgia is still what it used to be.
  
• On strike?
  It wouldn't have happened in Sir Stanley Matthews' day.
• Lost and found
  
• Déjà vu
  
• The white stuff
  
• Get a grip!
  This story has feet.
  
• More drops than Santa?
  A Transit is the only option.
  
• The End

[ake]

Very good

[Vee4]

Red balls, blue lights and funny noises



The Ordinary Van was making its way up (or down) the M1 in the early hours of Friday morning. The radio was tuned to Test Match Special on BBC Radio 4 LW, and England had just taken the last Australian wicket, to clinch a 3-1 victory in the Ashes Test Series. Radio 4 was preferred to Radio 5 because of the 'Aggers' commentary.



During the post-match interviews a loud drumming noise developed, like the noise from a badly finished concrete roadway. This was a bit worrying, so I slowed down but the noise didn't change in pitch. Was it live or was it Memorex? A quick press of the telephone (mute) button on the radio confirmed that it was actually on the broadcast. Phew!

On the side roads, nearly home, a police car was observed in a pub car park. You can guess what happened next. It's annoying that they always go for the low-hanging fruit, i.e. the Ordinary Van.


Picture from Ledlon89.